So as I got back from work last night with my watercooled German monster, and walked pass the parked buggy, my eyes caught two burning red LEDs on its instrument panel.
Although I suppose the ignition was on for at least 4 hours, the buggy started first time, and I took it for a quick spin around the block to go and buy some bread and milk, and completely forgot about the mischief of the girls in the buggy. (With a buggy, one doesn't neccesarily drive to the nearest cafe from home - he-he-he. And if you find some nice Hot Wheels on the pegs of the grocery store, it also doesn't matter if you forget the milk and the bread anyway - he-he-he.) *the cousins forgiven, no hard feelings*BUT
On my way to work this morning, when I again walked pass the parked buggy towards the water cooled German monster, my eyes caught a nasty surprise in the first rays of 6AM sublight: a large, evil, mysterious, rather recent and rather fresh oil stain under the buggy. *changed singing James Brown's 'I feel good' to whistling 'The X-Files' tune*
But I was puzzled as well - the oil stain was to the left of the rear of the buggy, but IN FRONT of the left cylinder head, and the original EMPI bolt-on valve cover. (I said original EMPI bolt-on valve cover, you got that part, right? OK.)
So on closer forensic inspection, including a left index finger test smell and taste of the substance on the ground, I realised that this is no ordinary oil. It had light viscosity, a funky sweetish smell, and a rather discreet, kind of burned after....uhm...taste. I was just about to reach for a test tube and some latex gloves from my jacket's inner pocket to have the substance tested at the FBI lab in DC when I realised that I wasn't wearing a jacket and that Agent Scully wasn't on my side... Damn.
I was thus forced to continue my investigation on my own, and upon closer inspection, I saw that the ignition coil was wet. It is mounted behind the engine (towards the front of the buggy), under the left rear 'wing', safely out of the way of any debris, mud, or other foreign substance kicked up by the left rear wheel with the original slotted aluminium Puma rim. (I said original slotted aluminium Puma rim, you got that part, right? OK.)
And after an in-depth forensic inspection, including a second 'sampling' of the substance, I came to the conclusion that the oil on the soil is from - wait for this - the coil. Directly above the mysterious stain in question.
The plot thickens, though...
It was also revealed to me that there was oil above the coil as well, on the inside of the buggy's fibreglass body. So the oil defeated gravity, and was actually mysteriously deposited upwards as well.
So, Scully, based on the evidence revealed to me, my suspicions are the following: The 12V current that travelled through the coil for a period of - lets say 4 hours - and the combined possibility that the contact breaker points inside the distributor was closed, caused the coil to heat up to abnormal temperatures, bringing the coil oil (that is supposed to cool the coil down), to boiling point. It expanded, and the coil's surrounding metal jacket fractured at a weak point, spraying the (pressurised) oil in various directions. Something like an electron-induced orgasm? Right?
Footnote: It must be mentioned that some sightings the previous night of strange lights in the skies above the area were reported, as well as sporadic incidents of electricity interruptions and malfunctioning of electronic equipment. Some black men - er.... men in black. I meant - are often seen driving around in the 'hood.....uhm... neighbourhood, I mean.
I want to believe. We are not alone. Trust no one..
*whistles X-Files tune and dreams of Scully*
*makes mental note to buy new coil for the buggy - and stll dreams of Scully
*
